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Literary AdventuresThis page will take you into pieces of literature that are carefully selected for their great content at the literary, scientific, or philosophical level. A short selection will be presented in full. A long one will be divided into sections that will be refreshed regularly. Emphasis and highlights are mostly ours, not made by the original author. Here is our current selection: Jamaica Inn (1916) by Daphne du MaurierCHAPTER 16Mary sat alone in the living-room at the vicarage and watched the smouldering turf fire. She had slept long, and was now rested and refreshed ; but the peace for which she craved had not yet come to her. They had been kind to her and patient ; too kind perhaps, coming so sudden and unexpected after the long strain ; and Mr. Bassat himself, with clumsy, well-meaning hands, patted her on the shoulder as he would a hurt child, and said to her in his gruff kind way, " She had no will of her own ; they could make decisions for her ; and, when Francis Davey offered his home for shelter, she accepted meekly and without feeling, conscious that her listless word of thanks savoured of ingratitude. Once more she knew the humility of being born a woman, when the breaking down of strength and spirit was taken as natural and unquestioned. Were she a man, now, she would receive rough treatment, or indifference at the best, and be requested to ride at once perhaps to Bodmin or to Launceston to bear witness, with an understanding that she should find her own lodging and betake herself to the world's end if she wished when all questions had been asked. And she would depart, when they had finished with her, and go on a ship somewhere, working her passage before the mast ; or tramp the road with one silver penny in her pocket and her heart and soul at liberty. Here she was, with tears ready to the surface and an aching head, being hurried from the scene of action with smooth words and gestures, a nuisance and a factor of delay, like every woman and every child after a tragedy. The vicar had driven her himself in the trap--with the squire's groom following behind on his horse--and he at least had the gift of silence, for he questioned her not at all, nor murmured sympathy to be both wasted and ignored, but drove swiftly to Altarnun, and arrived there as his church clock struck one. He roused his housekeeper from the cottage near by, the same woman that Mary had spoken with in the afternoon, and bade her come with him to the vicarage to prepare a room for his guest, which she did at once, without chattering or exclaiming in wonder, bringing the aired linen from her own home to lay on the bed. She kindled a fire in the grate and warmed a rough woollen nightdress before it, while Mary shed her clothes, and when the bed was ready for her, and the smooth sheets turned back, Mary allowed herself to be led to it as a child is led to a cradle. She would have closed her eyes at once but for an arm suddenly around her shoulders, and a voice in her ear, " " The last that she remembered was his hand upon her forehead and those still white eyes that told her to forget ; and then she slept, as he had bidden her. It was nearly four in the afternoon before she woke, and the fourteen hours of sleep had done the work that he intended, turning the edge of sorrow and blunting her to pain. The sharp grief for Aunt Patience had softened, and the bitterness too. Reason told her that she could not put the blame upon herself : she had done only what her conscience had commanded her to do. Justice had come first. Her dull wit had not foreseen the tragedy ; there lay the fault. There remained regret, and regret could not bring Aunt Patience back again. These were her thoughts on rising ; but when she was dressed, and had gone below to the living-room, to find the fire burning and the curtains drawn, and the vicar abroad upon some business, the old nagging sense of insecurity returned to her, and it seemed to her that responsibility for the disaster lay on her shoulders alone. Jem's face was ever present with her as she had seen it last, drawn and haggard in the false grey light, and there had been a purpose in his eyes then, and in the very set of his mouth, that she had wilfully ignored. He had been the unknown factor from the beginning to the end, from that first morning when he had come to the bar in Jamaica Inn, and deliberately she had shut her eyes to the truth. She was a woman, and for no reason in heaven or earth she loved him. He had kissed her, and she was bound to him for ever. She felt herself fallen and degraded, weakened in mind and body, who had been strong before ; and her pride had gone with her independence. One word to the vicar when he returned, and a message to the squire, and Aunt Patience would be avenged. Jem would die with a rope round his neck as his father had done ; and she would return to Helford, seeking the threads of her old life, that lay twisted even now and buried in the soil. She got up from the chair beside the fire and began to walk the length of the room, with some idea that she wrestled now with her ultimate problem, but even as she did so she knew that her very action was a lie, a poor trick to appease her conscience, and that the word would never be given. Jem was safe from her, and he would ride away with a song on his lips and a laugh at her expense, forgetful of her, and of his brother, and of God ; while she dragged through the years, sullen and bitter, the stain of silence marking her, coming in the end to ridicule as a soured spinster who had been kissed once in her life and could not forget it. Cynicism and sentimentality were two extremes to be avoided, and as Mary prowled about the room, her mind as restless as her body, she felt as though Francis Davey himself was watching her, his cold eyes probing her soul. The room held something of him after all, now that he was not here, and she could imagine him standing in the corner by the easel, his brush in his hand, staring out of the window at things that were dead and gone. There were canvases with their faces to the wall close to the easel, and Mary turned them to the light in curiosity. Here was an interior of a church--his church, she supposed--painted in the twilight of midsummer it would seem, with the nave in shadow. There was a strange green afterglow upon the arches, stretching to the roof, and this light was something sudden and unexpected that lingered in her memory after she had laid the picture aside, so that she returned to it, and considered it once more. It might be that this green afterglow was a faithful reproduction, and peculiar to his church at Altarnun, but, for all that, it cast a haunting and uncanny light upon the picture, and Mary knew that had she a home she would not care for it to hang upon her walls. She could not have put her feeling of discomfort into words, but it was as though some spirit, having no knowledge of the church itself, had groped its way into the interior and breathed an alien atmosphere upon the shadowed nave. As she turned the paintings, one by one, she saw that they were all tainted in the same manner and to the same degree ; what might have been a striking study of the moor beneath Brown Willy on a spring day, with the high clouds banked up behind the tor, had been marred by the dark colour and the very contour of the clouds that dwarfed the picture and overwhelmed the scene, with this same green light predominating all. She wondered, for the first time, whether by being born albino, and a freak of nature, his colour-sense was therefore in any way impaired, and his sight itself neither normal nor true. This might be the explanation but, even so, her feeling of discomfort remained after she had replaced the canvases with their faces to the wall. She continued her inspection of the room, which told her little, it being sparsely furnished anyway, and free of ornaments and books. Even his desk was bare of correspondence, and looked seldom used. She drummed with her fingers on the polished surface, wondering if he sat here to write his sermons, and suddenly and unpardonably she opened the narrow drawer beneath the desk. It was empty ; and at once she was ashamed. She was about to shut it when she noticed that the paper with which the drawer was laid had one corner turned, and there was some sketch drawn upon the other side. She took hold of the paper and glanced at the drawing. Once again it represented the interior of a church, but this time the congregation was assembled in the pews, and the vicar himself in the pulpit. At first Mary saw nothing unusual in the sketch ; it was a subject natural enough for a vicar to choose who had skill with his pen ; but when she looked closer she realised what he had done. This was not a drawing at all, but a caricature, grotesque as it was horrible. The people of the congregation were bonneted and shawled, and in their best clothes as for Sunday, but he had drawn sheep's heads upon their shoulders instead of human faces. The animal jaws gaped foolishly at the preacher, with silly vacant solemnity, and their hoofs were folded in prayer. The features of each sheep had been touched upon with care, as though representing a living soul, but the expression on every one of them was the same--that of an idiot who neither knew nor cared. The preacher, with his black gown and halo of hair, was Francis Davey ; but he had given himself a wolf's face, and the wolf was laughing at the flock beneath him. The thing was a mockery, blasphemous and terrible. Mary covered it quickly and replaced the paper in the drawer, with the white sheet uppermost ; then she shut the drawer and went away from the desk and sat once more in the chair beside the fire. She had stumbled upon a secret, and she would rather that the secret stayed concealed. This was something that concerned her not at all, but rested between the draughtsman and his God. When she heard his footstep on the path outside, she rose hurriedly, and moved the light away from her chair so that she would be in shadow when he came into the room, and he could not read her face. Her chair had its back to the door, and she sat there, waiting for him ; but he was so long in coming that she turned at last to listen for his step, and then she saw him, standing behind her chair, having entered the room noiselessly from the hall. She started in surprise, and he came forward then into the light, making apology for his appearance. " She shook her head, and stammered an excuse, and then he asked at once after her health, and how she had slept, stripping himself of his greatcoat as he spoke, and standing before the fire in his black clerical dress. " She assured him that she was rested, and would like nothing better than to make herself useful, and he nodded his head then and said, "At a quarter to seven," turning his back on her ; and she gathered she was dismissed. She made her way to the kitchen, put something out of countenance at his abrupt arrival, and she was glad that he had given her an added half-hour to herself, for she had been ill prepared for conversation when he found her. Perhaps supper would be a brief affair, and, once over, he would turn to his desk again and leave her to her thoughts. She wished she had not opened the drawer. The memory of the caricature lingered with her unpleasantly. She felt much as a child does who acquires knowledge forbidden by his parents, and then hangs his head, guilty and ashamed, fearful that his tongue will betray him. She would have been more comfortable could she have taken her meal alone here in the kitchen and been treated by him as a hand-maid rather than a guest. As it was, her position was not defined, for his courtesy and his commands were curiously mingled. She made play then of getting the supper, at home amongst the familiar kitchen smells, and awaited reluctantly the summons of the clock. The church itself chimed the three-quarters and gave her no excuse, so she carried the tray to the living-room, hoping that nothing of her inner feeling showed upon her face. He was standing with his back to the fire, and he had pulled the table in readiness before it. Although she did not look at him, she felt his scrutiny upon her, and her movements were clumsy. She was aware, too, that he had made some alteration to the room, and out of the tail of her eye she saw that he had taken down his easel, and the canvases were no longer stacked against the wall. The desk, for the first time, was in disorder, with papers and correspondence piled upon it, and he had been burning letters too, for the yellow, blackened scraps lay amongst the ashes under the turf. They sat down together at the table, and he helped her to the cold pie. " " " Mary was ashamed, and hardly knew what to reply. " " " " " " " " " " " " Mary laid aside the fork she had lifted to her lips, and put down the meat again untasted. " " The vicar continued to make an excellent supper, but Mary was only playing with her food, and when he offered her a second helping she refused. " " " " " " " " " " " " " She looked up at him, and then away again, and fell to crumbling a piece of bread in her hand. " " " " " Mary cut herself a slice of cake she did not want, and forced it between her lips. By making a pretence of eating she gave herself countenance. The hand shook, though, that held the knife, and she made a poor job of her slice. " " They continued to eat in silence, Mary with lowered head and eyes firm fixed upon her plate. Instinct told her that he played her as an angler plays the fish upon his line. At last she could wait no longer, but must blurt him a question. " " Mary said nothing. She shook her head when he offered her the damsons. " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " Mary gripped her hands under the table, and dug her nails into her flesh. " " " " " " " " " Mary nodded. Her fingers traced a pattern on the tablecloth. " The gentle voice wore away at her nerves, pin-pricking them with every word, and she knew now that he had defeated her, and she could no longer keep up the pretence of indifference. She lifted her face to him, her eyes heavy with the agony of restraint, and she spread out her hands in supplication. " The pale, expressionless eyes stared back at her, and for the first time she saw a shadow pass across them, and a flicker of surprise. " " " She stared at him stupidly, her brain clogged and refusing to work. She repeated the words after him like a child who learns a lesson. " The vicar pushed away his plate and began to set the things in order on the tray. " " The vicar had cleared the table and set the tray in the corner, but he continued to stretch his legs before the fire and take his ease in the narrow high-backed chair. Mary took no account of his movements. She stared before her into space, her whole mind split, as it were, by his information, the evidence she had so fearfully and so painfully built against the man she loved collapsing into nothing like a pack of cards. " " His dry tone, so cutting after the gentle voice she knew, was a rebuke in itself, and she accepted it with humility. " " She shook her hair back from her face and smiled for the first time since he had known her. The anxiety and the dread had gone from her at last. " The vicar glanced at his watch, and replaced it with a sigh. " " " " " " " " " " " " "Because the traveller was the vicar of Altarnun," he said. |
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